My reasons for leaving the Sea Org and recalling the circumstances under which I did so.
>>Monica Pignotti wrote:
>>
>> This is a classic example of the kind of phobia indoctrination the Cof$
>> lays on its members. I believe you and I'm very glad you are choosing
>> to tell your story, which is very consistent with the experiences of
>> numerous other ex-SO members. Probably nothing you say will ever
>> convince Joe -- I accepted this a long time ago.
>
>In article <3389AC7C.58C7@worldnet.att.net>, Joe Harrington said:
>
>Not at all. I'm very impressed by his forthrightness and his sense of
>personal responsibility, and the absence of some novel off-the-wall
>theory of "mind control" to rationalize everything.
>
>Joe
Believe me when I tell you that I'm not choosing sides here. I respect both
of you and your opinions. And I believe that there is truth to both of your
viewpoints.
It is true that I accept some responsibility for my decision to have joined
and to have stayed for so long in the Sea Org.
It is true that I *could* have physically left the Sea Org at any time I
wanted, *IF* I had had the *mental* toughness (determination) to do so. This
is not to say that *all* SO members are allowed to simply walk away whenever
they choose. I have known SO members who have been restrained. I have known
SO members who were put into isolation due to having experienced psychotic
breaks while in the SO. I have known SO members who were locked up against
their will and who demanded to be let out but were not, until they promised
to "calm down".
I feel that the CoS does exert a mechanism of mind control on its' SO
members through the use of threats, intimidation, the implanting of fear
through various 'information' given. How and why people accept Scientology's
methods are not completely understood by me. Certainly I have a better
understanding now than I did 20 years ago when I first tried to leave the SO.
By 1977 I had been in the Sea Org for 2 years. My wife at that time was still
not a Sea Org member, since she had been told 2 years before that she had a
"psych history". This determination by the Sea Org execs at ASHO Day (namely
the HCO Area Sec Jack Dirmann, the CO Irene Howey and the Assistant Guardian
Richard Deere) was based upon the fact that my wife had been in the Beaumont
Neurological center for something like 11 days as a teenager.
Her mother had erroneously thought that her daughter's lethargy was due to
drug use and so had had her put into the facility for observation and
evaluation. The facility realized that the problem she was having was due to
hypoglycemia (abnormally low blood sugar levels) and had released her after
completing it's observation, testing and evaluation. Important to note here
is that my wife (now ex-wife) received *no* drugs, *no* shock therapy, *no*
hypnosis during her brief stay in the neurological center. The SO was made
aware of these facts, and indeed they had the opportunity to verify my wife's
story. Whether the SO execs ever did bother to verify the information that had
been given to them by my wife I am uncertain, but surely they *could* have
checked out the "patient history" of my wife.
My wife, upon joining the Sea Org, had disclosed her stay in a "psychiatric
hospital" on a questionnaire given by the SO. This was the basis upon which she
had been classified as a "psych history case".
My wife *did* petition all the way to the Guardian World Wide Jane Kember,
but ultimately her petition to be allowed to "activate" her SO contract was
denied. Instead she was given an auditing and training program to complete prior
to being allowed to join the SO. I have amongst my files of material from my SO
days some of the correspondence on this matter. I even have a letter from the
Commodore's (L. Ron Hubbard) Staff Guardian (CSG), Mary Sue Hubbard which refers
to my wife's petition and program for entry into the SO.
Getting back now...
Due to the fact that my wife had not been allowed to be in the SO, we were
not allowed to live together in Sea Org berthing, since there was a shortage of
space in the Hollywood Inn at 6724 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood, CA. This building
is where most Pacific Area Command (PAC) SO members berthed.
Here I will say that at the very beginning of our time during our life in LA,
we were *briefly* (a few days) allowed to stay in the Hollywood Inn. This was
accomplished by moving Tony Cifarelli *out* of his room (over his loud protests).
It was reasoned by the Berthing I/C that since Tony's wife Patty was at the
Guardian Office World Wide in England on an extended training "cycle" that Tony
did not need a room all to himself. So his belongings were moved out of his room
to make room for my wife, son and myself. This only lasted for a few days.
Shortly after that I was placed in a dorm with 8 other SO members (some of my
roommates included Tom Gonzales and Tom Black).
My wife and son went to live on N. Robinson Ave, which is just down the street
(Temple Street) about half a mile from where ASHO was at that time (2723 W
Temple Street). She lived in a house with Ruthie Weissberg, who was the
Distribution Secretary ASHO Day. Also living there was Ruthie's son, David
and a fellow named Ray Peck, who was an (SO) ASHO Fdn Letter Registrar Typist.
My wife worked various jobs during this time including working for Metropolitan
Adjustment Bureau (MAB), which was a credit collection agency where lots of
Scientologists worked, and she worked with a woman named Penny Valente cleaning
houses.
After a couple of years of being in the SO and my wife's *not* being an SO
member, I grew tired of the toll that the separation was taking on my family
members' lives. It was very stressful since I almost never saw my wife and son.
So after about 2 years I told the MAA that I wanted to leave the Sea Org because
my "2D" was suffering from a lack of "create". (We didn't have a real family
in reality, due to the fact that we could't live together.)
As a result of my wanting to leave the SO, I naturally was ordered to a
"Sec Check". What I got was the HCO WW Form 1. As I recall I was security
checked approximately 2 hours per day for about 3-4 weeks. Some days I didn't
get into the "Sec Check" session due to my "unsessionability" (from lack of
sleep the night before), or due to the auditor(s) being unavailable. I
remember one of my auditors was a student at ASHO named Armand Citarella.
Another auditor I had was Jo Plunkett (now Struthers, and now a Class XII C/S
and OT 8).
At the end of approximately 40 hours of sec checking I *still* wanted to
leave the SO. The truth is that I didn't have any "overts" on the group. And
the sec check didn't change the fact that my wife was *still* not being allowed
in the SO. So I still had the same problem.
But the fact is that Hubbard wrote a policy letter called "Leaving and Leaves"
in which he stated that "People leave because of their own overts and withholds.
That is the factual fact and the hardbound rule." So naturally, everyone on the
technical "lines" (posts, or positions) had to find out what "terrible things
I had done".
This just goes to show the level of robotism when applying Hubbard's "tech".
Forget about the fact that I had a "continuing PTP" (present time problem) of
not being able to "mock up" a "2D". Forget about the fact that the policies on
"institutional cases with psych history" was being mis-interpreted in my wife's
case. Hubbard said that those who want to leave "overts and withholds".
It was during this time that I was wanting to leave the Sea Org that I was
given this very long "Sec Check". As I recall, it has 230 questions on it, and
deals with crimes committed in this lifetime as well as in previous lives. I
could be mistaken in my recollection about the HCO WW Form 1 having this many
questions. This form was not the only one that was used. One form I recall being
used on me had been a hand-written "custom made" sec check, apparently designed
by the ASHO Day Case Supervisor, probably either Barbara Rubio (Snr C/S and Class
IX) or Parran Dabney (Class VI C/S). Another sec check I was given had to do with
money.
I answered the questions honestly and thoroughly. I had *nothing* to hide.
Several times the Sec Checker" (mostly Armand Citarella) demanded that I "take
another look" at the question. He demanded that I *must not* be telling all
that there was to be told in response to the sec check questions. Basically
what was happening is that I was getting *very* "ARCXen" (upset) by the
insistence that I wasn't coming clean. In reality, I was being sec checked by
a Briefing Course student who was making "GAEs" (gross auditing errors) and
who was committing Auditor's Code Violations (although Scientology will
say that the Auditor's Code does *not* apply to sec checks).
I do remember being given an L1C ("List One Correction") and some other
garbage to clean up my upsets. But all in all, the whole process didn't handle
my desire to leave the SO. After all the sec checking, I still wanted to leave.
I had figured that I had done my part in co-operating. I had told everyone
involved that my problem was that I was not able to create a family life. No
one believed my reason for wanting to leave.
It was also during this time I was told by the S/C (Supercargo) ASHO Day,
Alan Prager that I was an SP. And the Personnel Enhancement Officer, Peggy
Peden told me I was psychotic. Other staff execs told me that should I leave
that I would "pull in" my death because I "knew" that I would be committing
a huge overt by leaving the group, the Sea Org.
In 1977, during this time of wanting to leave, I was naturally put into
a "lower condition" of "DOUBT", also in accordance with L. Ron Hubbard's
policies. As a condition of being placed in "DOUBT", I received *NO PAY* for
17 weeks!! (The duration of my assignment of a "lower condition").
In addition, I was *still* ordered to be on post (naturally) and working
approximately 100 hours per week. I was beginning to really "cave in"
completely.
One Friday I was coming back to the ASHO from a trip downtown to the
bank where my senior, James Neil Chapman, and I had gone to pick up a cash
order for payroll, food and tours expenses. James, or Jim as we all called him,
had a big "chopper" (motorcycle). Anyway, we were on the way back to ASHO.
I was sitting on the rear of the seat and holding onto a big bag of money
(about 20,000).
We were headed westbound on 7th Street (it was one-way west) and had stopped
at a red light at the intersection of Seventh and Alvarado Street. When the
light turned green,
to be continued...
Read the rest of this story here
Warrior - Sunshine disinfects